Updates...

I have the bad habit to only write when I'm emotionally up, or, in this case, down. Just to update my life, I got diarrhoea after my Overseas CIP, but otherwise, all went well. Anyway, the main reason I'm writing now is that I'm feeling really down. I'm scared of my future. I wanted to do something, but I can't do anything.I know something is wrong, but I don't know how to fix it.

I just came across a comment on facebook. It was my housemates. They were talking about a new Thai girl who will be sharing a room with me. Anyway, the bottomline is, one girl said that the owner of the place didn't want an Indonesian as she was scared theat my other housemates will tell the new girl things about me that will make her dislike ME. So. I just found out that all the people in the house dislike ME. All the while, I thought their feeling to me is just "okay"; I can live with that. But if the metre goes down to dislike, no, I can't. I could live with it if I at least have my own personal space, which is my room. But if even what little space I had is taken away from me, I can't. I definitely can't live happily there. I'm scared of what will happen if I stayed there. Furthermore, next year is the crucial year, where it is the last leap to university. If I miss the jump, I'll be thrown into a bottomless pit.

I honestly don't know what is so wrong with me. If all humans are magnets, I might only have the "North", not the "South". So, some people might be okay for a while, but there will always be some explosion or something bad that happens, that caused them to repel me. What do I need to do to get friends? What do I do that is so wrong? Why can't anyone tell me?

I don't know what to do anymore...