Alright, my exam results are out. I passed. I can go on to Junior College 2. I'm now back in Batam for a short break. Which is not really a break.
Here I thought 18 is the year where you get your freedom, choose how you live your life. Then why is my mom still doing this? She fairly resembles a broken record, playing: 'can you stop playing your computer and revise your work?' over and over again. Despite knowing the extent of my depression a few weeks ago, not a single word of sympathy have i heard from her. Maybe I should be grateful that she didn't say something along the lines of,'serves you right'.
Oh, I totally get where she's coming from. I'm an only child, my parents give birth to me in their late years, they can't be with me forever, yada yada. It's only fair that they have a high expectation of me. But have they ever asked what I want? NO.
When I was young, there was a time I wanted to be a dentist.
"Humph! Dentist? I got a dentist friend, and she said it's very hard to make money! And do you know that it takes 8 years to be a dentist?'
I grew up a little, and fall in love with Japanese mangas. So, my dream changed to be a Japanese translator.
"Humph, translator? You know how much they earn? You won't even be able to pay your rent!"
I grew up some more, and my interest now lies on IT.
"Humph! IT? Ask your cousin, he's in IT. He says it's very difficult, and you need to study very hard. So you work so hard in learning all that, but when you work, you don't earn much."
'So, mom, what do you want me to be?'
"ACCOUNTANT! All companies need an accountant. If you are an accountant, you'll be able to make your own company too!"
So basically, her world revolves around money and authority.
BUT I DON'T WANT ALL THAT.
I would prefer to live a peaceful life, not rich, but enough to get by and still enjoy my life. I've seen too many examples on those. The more you have, the more you'll lose.
And it's only in a teenager's nature too rebel when forced, isn't it? That's the one thing she doesn't get. The reason I started this post is because of a certain conversation that happens just a few minutes ago.
And here's the last straw. Apparently she wants me to write a document that says if I didn't get at least all Bs in the next mid term exam, she's going to confiscate my laptop. And my grades are now all Ds. Does she even know how hard it is to get a freaking B?
So basically, that means 7 months without laptop. And guess what? I bought this laptop with my own pocket money I saved and scrimped over the years I've been living in Singapore. Now I feel like if i study she will get the last laugh. She had a way with her words that simply makes me feel like I should do just the opposite.
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